I'm kinda a big deal. 'Nuff said.


the way I feel about teachers is almost purely related to if they let me eat in their class or not

(via ernbarassing)


I have waited tables. I’ve worked in bars. You know who tips well? The working poor, the lower middle class, and people who work or have worked in service industries. You know who tips shitty or not at all? Rich people, upper middle class people, and privileged fuckers who use their “moral opposition” to tipping to be cheap assholes. 

(via youcantcancelquidditch)


I see London I see France. Wow. they’re both 486 miles away from eachother. That’s a long way. I have great eyesight.

(Source: alt-j, via fishing-with-finnick)


Shakespeare would seriously laugh so hard if he found out how seriously people take his works. Like, he would probably cry from laughing so hard if you told him that his plays were considered high-brow literature. “It’s all dick jokes and sword fights,” he’d say, “do they seriously tell my dick jokes to schoolchildren? And the kids aren’t allowed to laugh? Do the teachers know they’re telling dick jokes? Oh my god that’s fucking hilarious. Wait until I tell Anne.”

(via luckywedidntpanic)


why are the american horror story opening credits almost scarier than the actual show

(via speaking--in--tongues)

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